Many of the signs we are taught to interpret as caring, attentive, and romantic are actually early warning signs for future abuse. Review the list of warning signs below.


Please call The Shelter at 800-931-7233 if you or someone you know needs help. In an Emergency dial 9-1-1.


Warning Signs:


  • Constantly asks where you are going, who you are with, etc.
  • Insists that you spend all or most of your time together, cutting you off from friends/family.
  • Accuses you of flirting/having sexual relationships with others.
  • Monitors your clothing/make-up.
  • Displays extreme anger when thing do not go their way.
  • Attempts to make all your decisions.
  • Secretive about past relationships.
  • Gets very serious with partners very quickly – saying “I love you” early in the relationship, wanting to move in together or get engaged after only a few months, or pressuring partner for a serious commitment.
  • Comes on very strong, is extremely charming and an overly smooth talker.
  • Is extremely jealous.
  • Isolates partner from support systems – wants partner all to themselves.
  • Attempts to control what partner wears, what they do and who they see.
  • Is abusive towards other people.
  • Blames others for one’s own misbehavior or failures.
  • Has unrealistic expectations, like expecting partner to meet all of ones needs and be the perfect partner.
  • Is overly sensitive – acts “hurt” when not getting one’s way, takes offense when others disagree with an opinion, gets upset at small inconveniences that are just a normal part of life.
  • Has ever been cruel to animals.
  • Has ever abused a child.
  • Has ever hit a partner in the past.
  • Has ever threatened violence, even if it wasn’t a serious threat.
  • Calls partner names, puts them down or curses of them.
  • Is extremely moody, and switches quickly from being very nice to exploding in anger.
  • If male, believes women are inferior to men and should obey them.
  • Is intimidating, for example, using threatening body language, punching walls or breaking objects.
  • Holds partner against will to keep them from walking away or leaving the room.
  • Was or is abused by a parent.
  • Grew up in a home where an adult was abused by another adult.

warning signs

%d bloggers like this: